Zagreus
by Rosine
Summary: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica. NOT a real baby!fic
1. Chapter 1

**Rated**: T

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story.

**Zagreus**

**Part 1**

**New Caprica**

**Day 184 of the settlement, nine weeks after the ground breaking ceremony.**

She had missed that, Laura realised once again as a five year old girl hugged her fiercely after school. Of course the former President had kissed and hugged her fair share of children during her campaign but she had forgotten the selfless affection of a young charge. She had been their teacher for a little less than six months and even if they had started to warm up to her a while ago, she was still unused to the mark of love that the little ones could so freely give. More and more each day she found herself acting like the Laura Roslin that had disappeared in Caprica over twelve years ago when she had left her classroom to pursue a career in politics. She tidied the school a little before keeping the promise she had made to herself in the morning and going to the medical tent. The man she had to consult was talking to a nurse she remembered from her last stay in _Galactica_ sickbay so she waited for a while, out of earshot, so that she would not unwillingly eavesdrop. When the discussion seemed over she made her presence known.

"Doctor Cottle, do you have a minute?"

He was obviously quite surprised to see her. She hadn't really sought his company since the settlement. He nodded and led her to an empty area nonetheless.

"Do you have what you need to perform a pregnancy test?"

"I'm still waiting for the _Pegasus_ sonogram. Do you think someone at the school is pregnant?"

"Yes. Something like that."

"Just what we needed. How old is she?"

"Fifty-two."

He stared for a few seconds, she couldn't really blame him. He had constituted her medical file during her cancer. And that file clearly stated that she had been menopausal for over a decade, since her mother's death. She decided to give him more information in order for him to start believing her.

"Ever since the cancer went into remission other things started again. _Things_ that I most certainly didn't need. And those _things_ have gone missing again for the last two months."

"What you mean is that since Baltar's miracle cure you started menstruating again and that your last period was two months ago."

"Yes. A few days before the ceremony."

"There could be other explanations than a pregnancy. You might be going through a second menopause."

"It didn't feel like that the first time. I have experienced no hot flash, no apparent skin change, and no weight gain. But the last point might be due to the fact I can't stomach anything before noon. Also my breasts are swollen. But it's not just the left and I've felt no sign of a lump or anything remotely like when I ignored cancer symptoms."

"You do realise that this pregnancy of yours could be wishful thinking to deny the fact that the cancer might indeed be back."

"I do. That is why I'm here."

He indicated the examination table. She sighed and laid on it after divesting herself of her pullover, shirt and bra. She shivered when the cold skin of her breast met the even colder skin of his hands as he dutifully palpated the former residing place of her illness. Once he was satisfied with his examination, he gestured for her to loosen the closing of her slacks and started to feel above her womb. After a few minutes he told her to dress.

"There might be a bit of swelling but I can't say for sure."

"So what now?"

"The sonogram should be here in two weeks. If you don't want to wait you need to apply for a transfer to the _Galactica_ sickbay. It will need to be approved by the Presidential cabinet."

"The transfer will be reproved. There is no way Baltar's letting me back on a Battlestar."

"Then there's nothing to do but to wait. If you're not pregnant, you will have to be transferred for more tests that won't ever be available on the planet."

"And if I am?"

"You will have to decide if you want to go through with the pregnancy."

"Abortion is still illegal. I made it so and Baltar didn't change that even if it was his excuse for running against me. But that is not surprising."

"So you will just need to find a way to tell the Admiral he's going to be a father again."

Laura didn't even try to be secretive about the father's identity. They hadn't really hidden their affection for one another during the ground breaking ceremony. She hadn't seen Bill since that day: that was Baltar's payback for trying to steal the election. He couldn't prove it of course, but he had made it clear he knew about that when he had all but forbid them to spend time together. The Admiral was to remain aboard the _Galactica_ unless ordered differently and Laura was to start teaching again immediately. There were other teachers in the fleet, teachers that had taught a lot more recently than she had, but she was given no other choice. Since every trip back to space had to be approved by the Presidential cabinet there was no way around it: for the six months she had been on New Caprica the ceremony was the only time she had seen Bill.

She hopped off the table and thanked the doctor before leaving the medical tent. She had already waited a month since her first suspicion; she could wait a few days more. If she wasn't pregnant it would mean two weeks of being blissfully unaware that her body was once again trying to kill her. It would also mean two weeks of dreaming a new room in the utopic Cabin she shared with Bill by the lake.

)-oO,o.

**New Caprica**

**Day 197 of the settlement, eleven weeks after the ground breaking ceremony.**

Lying on her back, Laura was listening to the sound of the rain against the canvas of her tent. Her intuition had been right: she was pregnant. Of course it was a relief that the cancer wasn't back, but she wasn't sure that a baby was what she needed at the moment. Most of the colonists were trying for babies – and she had encouraged them to – but she hadn't tried, hadn't thought about it really.

She had been drunk and high the night the baby had been conceived. Not so far gone not to remember anything or do something she would regret in the morning but certainly gone enough to forget contraception. Although she wasn't sure what she would have done if she had remembered about it: it wasn't as if birth control was easy to come by these days. She wouldn't have foregone the night with Bill either. It was probably one of their only chances to do something about their mutual attraction. There had been no point when she was dying and after her miracle cure she had been much too focussed on the fleet day to day issues and the election.

She still had to find a way to tell him. The words would probably come easily once she started: she wouldn't have stayed that long in politics or even in education if she couldn't make up speeches as she talked. The real problem was to find a way to get in contact with him. She could, as a last resort, write to him and give the letter to Cottle or to one of the pilots that had clearance to fly to the Battlestars as a regular bases but she was selfish enough to want to hear his voice. With Billy dead and Apollo in space with his father, she felt a loneliness she hadn't known since the holocaust.

It was ridiculous really. She was far from alone. The children liked her, the parents respected her and tried to include her in their activities. Maya and the baby spent a lot of time with her both at school and after school and faithful Tory had not left her despite the turn of the election. But the children and their parents were too few compared to the Fleet; Maya was blissfully oblivious of the hardness that came with leadership and Tory… Tory was no Billy. She tried, she did her best, but she couldn't read her like her predecessor could. When Billy had sensed her cancer mere days after meeting her, Tory still didn't suspect anything of her boss' pregnancy. The young lady had been an asset during the electoral campaign but she had convinced Laura to try to steal an election while Billy had flat out refused to follow her when she had torn the fleet in half.

She dropped her hand to her lower stomach. She couldn't feel any movement yet of course but she knew a child was there. Her child. She didn't really know how she felt about it: she loved children – it would be hard not to in her primary line of work – but she had never had the occasion of thinking about having her own. None of her relationships were ever stable enough. Even this one wasn't, if it was a relationship at all. She felt like it was but she didn't know what Bill thought about it, they had never stopped to talk and label what was going on between them.

If they were lucky she might be able to convince Baltar that keeping her on the planet was pointless: a father still had a right to see his children. Maybe she could convince the so-called President that she could teach in space for all those who were still serving up there and had their children with them. She wasn't sure there were any though. Bill had been a lot more lenient with families that wanted to settle since the ground breaking ceremony.

Come to think of it, Bill was a family man to the core. His divorce and estranged son notwithstanding, family really mattered for him and he might propose on the spot when she finally revealed her condition. She wouldn't mind. There were worse reasons to get married than because a baby was on the way. She stroked her stomach absentmindedly. A baby. Their baby. Would it change everything? Would it change anything?

She remembered Sandra's baby shower like it was yesterday. It still hurt of course but they were all so happy and alcohol had snatched it all away… Could alcohol bring some of that happiness back? She doubted it. She wouldn't be that carefree again: even stoned out of her mind and drunk she still worried of the future. The threat of Cylons, disease, earthquake, volcano, and hurricane still loomed close in the forefront of her mind, even when she was more relaxed than she had felt in years, with her head resting on Bill's shoulder,

"Laura?"

Maya's voice called from the outside. Laura sat up as she called her in, noticing that the rain had stopped at some point of her musings.

"Tory and I are going to take advantage of the reprieve. Do you want to tag along?"

"No, thank you. But do you want me to babysit?"

"Only if you don't mind."

Once she had assured the young woman that she wouldn't have offered if she had minded and once she was alone with the baby, Laura sat cross-legged on the mattress.

"None of this would have been possible without you. I don't know if I should thank you or blame you though. What is there for a baby to look forward to? Maybe I should just give it to your parents to apologize for taking you, what do you think?"

Hera didn't answer, of course, sleeping peacefully in the familiar arms of the former President.

"You're right. I don't think they would like that very much either. It's you they wanted, not some cast-off baby and certainly not _my_ cast-off baby. Besides, there is still the matter of Bill to deal with."

Laura cuddled her for a few minutes in silence.

"I might actually enjoy having a baby… And you might like having a playmate close to your age at school. You never know. If it's a boy you might even fall in love, marry and have babies of your own together."

She giggled. Her child wasn't born and she was already matchmaking… she didn't even know if it would be a boy or a girl. She probably needed more sleep. But Lords of Kobol, it felt good to be silly once in a while, even if it was with a seven month old half Cylon baby girl. Careful not to wake her young charge, Laura lay down on her side, curling herself around Hera both for warmth and comfort.

)-oO,o.

**A/N**: There will be 9 parts in this story. All of them are already written and I should post weekly if not more often. I'd love to hear what you think though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to all of you who reviewed and let me know what they though about the story.

**Zagreus**

**Part 2**

**New Caprica**

**Day 219 of the settlement, fourteen weeks after the ground breaking ceremony.**

After over three weeks of not finding any way to contact Bill by herself and after a lot of hesitation, Laura had finally requested a one on one meeting with the President. It had been granted and she was now sitting on the other side of her former desk in what used to be essentially her living space for nearly ten months. Baltar had changed it so much that it didn't feel like hers anymore. She was somewhat grateful for the fact since it eased some of the lingering longing she sometimes felt when she caught a glimpse of _her_ ship. It wouldn't help her cause to mention it. Acknowledging that it wasn't going well would have been paramount to saying that the Cylon weren't fond of the human race.

"Do you take me for a fool Laura? How old are you? Fifty-seven, fifty-eight years old?"

"I'm fifty-two."

"And you really expect me to believe that you are pregnant with the Admiral's child and that I should grant you a standing visiting pass for the _Galactica_?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I expect, Mr. President."

Although she had spent years using this title with Richard Adar, the title felt foreign on her lips. So much had happened since she had seen her former lover in a professional capacity that it felt like it was another lifetime. It was in a way, but the main thing was probably whom she was supposed to use it with now.

"And exactly what are the odds of you being pregnant at your age?"

"Exactly the same as you finding a cure for my cancer. For it was the starting point."

"Don't be silly, the blood injection only attacked your cancer cells, it didn't _reboot_ your entire system."

"Well then maybe they also attacked whatever caused my premature menopause in the first place. I don't even know why I'm arguing that point with you. Doctor Cottle can confirm the diagnosis. And once you're satisfied with his answer I'd very much like to go and inform the father of my child."

"I don't think so, Laura. Even if you are indeed pregnant, you can't prove that Admiral Adama is the father."

"As much as I loathe to suggest such a thing, we both know Doctor Cottle can perform a paternity test."

"A paternity test that would bring you to the _Galatica_. I don't think so. As I see it Laura, there are only two options here. Either we both forget this conversation took place and that the Senior military officer might have fathered your child or you continue in insisting that he is and I have no other choice than having him court martialed."

She stood up suddenly. Of all the things she had expected of the despicable - man that hadn't been one of them. Contrary to popular belief, not all teachers had limitless supply of patience. Laura had her fair share, but just being in the same room as her former head scientist drained it faster than a Tigh could consume alcohol.

"Court martialed? On what grounds exactly?"

"Fraternization with a superior officer. Namely you."

"I'm sorry? I'm not Adama's superior officer. I'm not even military."

"Not right now, no. But you were before losing the election."

"That's preposterous. There was nothing going on between us while I was in office."

"I don't think you understand me, Laura. It doesn't matter either way because you can't prove a thing and your pregnancy will give credence to anything I advance. Now it's your choice really. Unknown father or a court martial?"

"On second thought, I'm not sure who the father is, _Mr. _President." She spat the title this time and left _Colonial One_ in a hurry, without waiting for an answer.

She headed toward the temple, hot rage filling her senses. For the first time in a long while she genuinely regretted stealing the election. Ever since her final decision she had enjoyed being someone people only remembered as their children's schoolteacher. Of course she wasn't just that to most people but she could pretend easily enough. She would take a classroom full of unruly children over a quorum any day, grading papers and planning lessons was so much more uplifting than reading and signing reports 'till she was blue in the face and students' question made so much more sense than journalists' wrongful curiosity.

To be finally rid of any political responsibility for the first time in over twelve years was heavenly. Although she wished some things were different, she wouldn't complain if she could see Bill a little more and had a solid roof above her head instead of a tent. But although she knew the planet was no haven she couldn't deny the pleasure of fresh air and trees. And days. She had missed days. There was only night in space. She loved nights but nights had no sense without days. So she had missed the night bringing days.

Now however she would gladly give up days, trees, fresh air and even anonymity if that meant she could be up there across a desk from Bill. It wouldn't matter whether she was pregnant or not, whether they were friends or lovers. Seeing him only once in seven months was simply not enough. She could still write him a letter, she ventured, but he would probably do something incredibly rash and stupid, like jumping in the first raptor down. That might get them both into trouble and she couldn't let him take that chance. If they behaved and they were lucky, perhaps Baltar would at some point stop holding such a grudge and allow at least one of them to retire and join the other. And then they would be able to raise their child together.

She scoffed inwardly. Even if _the _President did forgive them Bill was older than her and she was no prime chicken either. They could hope for what? Fifteen, twenty good years top? And that was if the Cylons didn't come back. Because even if they had survived a nuclear holocaust, there was no way they would do it again, not with so many people down on the planet. She would need to talk to the Admiral about having a contingency plan during their next meeting…

She nearly laughed as the idea popped into her head. A bitter laugh, of course, but a laugh nonetheless. She had no next meeting with Bill to look forward to. And if she ever talked to him again she would have far more personal things to discuss with him. Things that had nothing to do with bloodthirsty Cylons but everything to do with the blood given to her from a half Cylon fetus.

She suddenly realized that she was in front of the temple. She got in, nodded to the priestess and started praying. She spared a rapid thought for those who were once her people but quickly moved onto the one missed and the one she was yet to meet.

)-oO,o.

**New Caprica**

**Day 228 of the settlement, fifteen weeks and a half after the ground breaking ceremony.**

Laura was absentmindedly using a book to scratch her palm. She had picked it up to put it away after school but then her hand had started itching and the cover of the book scratched her just right. She was half considering taking it with her to her own tent when Doctor Cottle barged in.

"What did you say to Admiral Adama?"

She put the book back on one of the desks and looked up to watch her unexpected visitor with a frown on her face. He was wearing his uniform, probably just coming back from a trip around the fleet. He wasn't the only doctor fortunately, but he was the most experienced and the only non-civilian.

"I beg your pardon? I haven't seen or talked to him since he came down and you know that perfectly well. What happened?"

"I was aboard the _Galactica _to check on someone there and I paid the Admiral a friendly visit. When I mentioned your name in the conversation, he made sure I understood that if he heard one more word about you, I would find myself on the wrong side of an airlock."

"But why?"

"I was actually hoping that you could tell me."

"I can't. We parted good friend the last time we met. More than good friend actually."

She blushed a little and self-consciously put a hand on her slightly grown abdomen, massaging the small ache she sometimes developed. He followed the movement with his eyes and his tone softened – that is Cottle-softened. She had seen him often enough during her cancer to know that this was his way of being friendly.

"Does he know yet?"

"No. I all but begged Baltar to grant me visitation rights, but to no avail."

"I could probably invent some cancer related exam you would have to take aboard _Galactica_."

"It won't do any good; it would still have to be approved and that is not going to happen anytime soon. Besides, I have recently decided not to tell Bill for the time being."

"Would you mind telling me why?"

Cottle's gruff tone came back with a vengeance. He did not approve and made no effort to hide his opinion. He was Bill's friend, not hers, and never had been - no matter how many secrets she had him keep from everybody else.

"It's not really any of your business, but Baltar threatened him with a court martial if it ever got out. And we both know how rash the Admiral can be when he has something in mind."

"Maybe it's time to be rash."

"No. If the Cylons ever come back, we'll need Admiral William Adama in his battlestar to save us all. We can't afford to be selfish when so much hangs in the balance."

"He's bound to find out your situation at some point."

"I know. And I'm holding onto the hope that Baltar will have mellowed by then. I plan to keep this pregnancy hidden for as long as possible."

"I really don't think it's the right decision."

"Maybe not. But it's the smart one. You can't tell him anything without my consent. We still have the doctor-patient confidentiality, don't we?"

"I can't talk to him about you. He made it quite clear. But just like your cancer, the time is going to come when you won't be able to hide."

Laura shrugged and picked the book again to scratch her palm. The doctor frowned.

"Does that happen often?"

"What?"

"The itching"

She looked at her hands and noticed what she was doing. She dropped the book and crossed her arms.

"On and off for the last few days. Do you think I might be having an allergic reaction to something?"

"It could be a symptom of liver failure."

"I really don't need you to invent an excuse to take me to the _Galactica_."

"I'm not. But you have a history of ignoring symptoms. Are you still throwing up?"

"I haven't been throwing up at all. I just couldn't swallow anything before noon. But that's over now, has been for a week. Now I only stop eating when it's time to teach."

"That's good news. You could do with a little more weight. And now that you're nearly sixteen weeks along, I can do an ultrasound to tell you the sex if you want."

"I don't want to know. It will give me something to look forward to and I'm sure I'll enjoy the guessing game I'll have with myself."

"Suit yourself and good night, young lady. Don't work too hard."

She waved him out as he exited the tent. She looked around and decided that it didn't matter if the school was slightly messier than usual before she left. She made her way to her own tent, the scratchy book still in hand. What the doctor had revealed about Bill didn't make sense. Unless…

Unless like some men she had unfortunately encountered he was just after one thing and now that he had gotten it – and couldn't get it on a regular basis – he was no longer interested. It didn't seem like something the great William Adama would do, but how long had she known him really? A year and a half, more than a third of it without seeing him and another two months they spent at each other's throats.

On the other hand, he was still wearing his wedding band and that was _not_ common behavior in ladies' men – actually married ones excepted. Perhaps he just got tired of waiting for her… but he had to know that it wasn't her fault, hadn't he? It was not as if she had wanted to settle on that god forsaken planet for which she had lost an election to. Unless…

Unless he thought _she_ was the type to love and leave. The only one night stand she ever had was that ill-advised night with Sean Allison and she had had mitigated circumstance at that time. Bill had no way of knowing about it and frankly she couldn't recall saying or doing anything that would have indicated that what was happening between them wasn't something serious and significant for her.

What hurt the most was that all the nights she had spent comforting herself with the thoughts that he might be thinking about her or even missing her as much as she did him - were nothing but empty dreams and wishful thinking. That comfort was hard to let go of but she would probably need to: it felt wrong to delude herself with false hopes, wrong expectations and newly tainted memories.

)-oO,o.

**A/N**: Once again, I'd love to know what you think. I will probably post the next chapter on Friday or Saturday


	3. Chapter 3

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to all those who reviewed and let me know what they were thinking. I'm afraid it's a short one today.

**Zagreus**

**Part 3**

**New Caprica**

**Day 261 of the settlement, twenty weeks after the ground breaking ceremony.**

The night was nice, Laura mused, as she looked outside. The sky was appealing and the stars seemed to be calling her. She was standing just outside her tent, looking up at them. _He_ was up there she knew, and yet his ghost seemed to haunt the ground a few feet away, where they had enjoyed curling up together… among other things.

She had been so delightfully silly that night and he had been so open with her, sharing memories, hopes and songs. She longed to feel the rough material of his uniform against her skin, to have her lips slightly chaffed by his mustache… She forcefully quenched her line of thinking.

For the last month, ever since Cottle had informed her of her lover's change of heart, she had managed to keep the reminiscence at bay. But tonight she had finally understood that the slight fluttering she felt in her lower abdomen was her baby moving after having spent the day trying to comfort one of the little girls in her class whose father had died in a stupid accident. Laura's nerves were raw, her body ached, her ankles were slightly swollen and she was tired of missing Bill.

She walked back into the tent and took out the blanket they had spread on the ground more than a little off balance. She went back out and spread it again, alone this time, enjoying herself a lot less. She carefully lay down, putting her head on the only remaining sand bag and closed her eyes. They had somewhat fallen down on the blanket on their knees at first. She had reached inside her bodice for the second time that day and held up two more New Caprican cigarettes with a smile on the lips.

At some point afterwards they had lay down and talked while smoking. Everything was quite fuzzy, between the alcohol and the euphoric drug. Laura wasn't sure which parts were actual memories, which were deduction and which never actually happened. She had somehow ended up with her head on his shoulder and her hand resting softly against his chest. The blanket covered sand had felt a bit hard against her hips and she remembered thinking that his body would make a much softer mattress if she were to straddle him and that it had caused her to giggle into his neck.

"I miss your shoes." He had said unexpectedly(1), causing her to giggle even more.

"What?"

"You always dropped them somewhere in my quarter. I miss them." He had explained, as seriously as the weed made possible.

"I miss it, too."

She had toed off her shoes… or removed them some other way because she distinctly remembered being bare foot at that point. She had itched her left leg across Bill before tucking her foot underneath his right knee while her other foot had slipped between his right ankle and his uniform leg. He had shivered slightly before stroking her back in a warming motion. She had inched closer to him, looking for more body heat when her knee had brushed against a very swollen part of him. He had tensed for half a second before commenting.

"To be fair, you _are_ practically laying on top of me."

"I didn't say anything. And I certainly don't mind."

She had brushed it again, slowly and deliberately, delighted to have elicited such a reaction from such a man. It could have been a side effect of the drug they had smoked throughout the day but her clouded mind hadn't thought about that at the time. He had turned slightly toward her, the arm that wasn't wrapped around her back reaching underneath her chin to bring her mouth to his. The movement had caused her knee to press more firmly against him and her hand to slide up to his shoulder.

After a few seconds of kissing her neck had started to feel uncomfortable in his awkward angle and she had used her hand to push him lazily on his back. Just as slowly she had draped herself over him, tucking her head against his neck while one of his hands had tangled in her hair. Her lips had touched his skin as she had asked in a whisper if that was okay. His answering hum was all she had needed to relax against him once more. They had stayed that way for a while until the button of his uniform pressing against her torso had started being uncomfortable, causing her to squirm slightly, looking for another position. His hand had fled to her hips to still her immediately.

"I'm only a man." he had tried to warn her. "There's only so much I can take."

"Am I too much for you then Admiral?"

"Laura…"

His tone had become strained, as if her teasing was too much. She straightened, effectively straddling his hips.

"I'm not the President anymore, Bill. There are no conflicts of interest and I'm tired of waiting. Tomorrow you'll go back to your ship and I'll go back to my classroom. And it's okay but who knows when we'll see each other again? _If_ we'll see each other again. We've defied the odds before but our luck might be running out. I want to live now, not merely survive."

Her speech had been delivered in the same fashion she had spoken all evening, a few tones higher than her usual low-pitched voice. She ended in a whisper though.

"I nearly died once and you kissed me. I've been waiting patiently when I survived, but I don't want to wait anymore. Should I just give up?"

He had sat up without a word, his arms embracing her, pulling her flush against his chest. He might have spoken then, but the memory was a bit too fuzzy to make sense. It didn't matter because he had soon been kissing her again, guiding her hands to his belt, leaving them there with two simple words.

"Your choice."

She had hesitated for a second before actually opening his trousers enough to gain access to what had been poking her for a while. It had been a bit too cold to disrobe and stay outside, but she hadn't want to move, hadn't wanted to give either of them the chance to reconsider; the rational part of her mind had known that it probably wasn't the best idea ever but the one that had been high had shut it up quite easily.

He had laid his hands back on her hips, watching her with a smile on his lips. She remembered seeing affection and care in his eyes but between the poor light and her less than stellar memory she couldn't be sure that she hadn't made it up. It had only lasted for a moment anyway, for she had risen on her knees, and pushed aside enough of her own clothing to make them one, closing her eyes at the pleasurable sensation.

She hadn't moved at first and he had seemed content to allow her to savor the moment. After a while she had started to move lazily, her body somewhat sluggish from the smoking. He had indulged her, or perhaps he had been enjoying stealing time neither of them should have, defying the universe by refusing to rush things. She had sometimes bent down to exchange a few kisses, each time making it more difficult to sit back up, until she had just remained laying, her lips touching his, unmoving, and her hips slowing even more.

"Are you just planning to stop there?" He had asked with a breathy edge to his voice.

"I'm only resting. But feel free to take over if you don't like it."

He had smiled before turning them, mindless of her giggle.

"I thought you enjoyed being in control."

"Who says I'm not?"

He had started moving, just as slowly as she had, causing a sigh to escape her lips.

"I think we both are in control and that's the way it's supposed to be." She had said before kissing him again.

No further word had been spoken as they had consumed one another in a tender and caring way, barely readjusting their clothing before falling asleep outside on the blanket covered sand, their bodies close to each other.

Laura put a hand on her abdomen as the fluttering drew her from her bittersweet memories. She shushed her little one quietly. It was a girl today in her mind. It had been for the last few days. She should start thinking about names, she mused, as she brushed a tear off her cheek.

She had considered the idea of playing with religious characters, to link her child's name with her half-brother's call sign. But Artemis would be hard to wear and the fact that the half cylon was already bore a goddess' name made her ill at ease. Cassandra would be fitting with Laura's own relation with Pythia but it seemed bad luck somehow. Or perhaps she should just follow tradition and used the name of one of the child's relatives. Sandra, Cheryl and Judith were out of the question, the pain was too raw. But she recalled that Bill's mother was called Evelyn and it could be a way to unofficially acknowledge the child's paternity.

She still had time though. She stood up, quite sore from lying for so long on the ground. She picked up the blanket and went inside her tent, feeling no better than when she had started reminiscing. She untied her boots and threw them in a corner, relieved to free her slightly swollen ankle from their restrictive prison.

)-oO,o.

_**New Caprica**_

_**Laura's dream around day 320 of the settlement, twenty eight weeks and a half after the ground breaking ceremony.**_

_The former _President_ was hurrying down the streets as fast as her nearly seven month pregnant belly would allow her. After spending half her midday break looking she finally found herself near the made up pyramid ground._

"_Anders! Where's Kara?"_

"_Aw… um… In our tent."_

"_And where is your tent?"_

_He showed her the way, more than a little surprised by Laura's behavior. She thanked him curtly and hastened to the former captain's living space. She seemed surprised to see the schoolteacher but allowed her in anyway._

"_Do you have your colonial uniform with you? Not the dress greys, the everyday one."_

"_Hum… yeah. Why?"_

"_Would you mind putting the jacket on and hugging me?"_

"_Sure madam _President_."_

_Starbuck didn't move. Laura sighed impatiently._

"_Come on, Kara, I miss him, I'm seven months pregnant; I have to deal with thirty children in a little over half an hour, can't you just indulge me?"_

"_Fine, but you have to promise never to ask me to babysit."_

"_Granted. Can I have my hug now?"_

_Kara took the garment out of a chest and put it on before awkwardly embracing Laura. She didn't care about the weirdness of it all; she just relaxed into the embrace, put her cheek on the younger woman's shoulder, and closing her eye, savored the feeling of the uniform against her skin._

)-oO,o.

(1) The explication doesn't really fit in the scene so I figured I'll just put it there to show that it's not just a totally random thought on Bill's part. Hearing Laura giggling made him think of the debate which in turn made him think of the way she looked when she was getting ready in his quarter before it.

**A/N**: As always, I'd love to hear what you think. And since I post it this one on friday the next chapter should be on wednesday or thursday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to all of those who tell me what they think.

**Zagreus**

**Part 4**

**New Caprica**

**Day 380 of the settlement, thirty-seven weeks after the ground breaking ceremony.**

A sense of dread filled Laura as she heard the whooshing sounds coming from the sky and she went outside, hoping to see an unruly pilot having fun above the settlement. But when her worst fears were proven to be true, the first thought that came to her mind was to protect the children. She ushered the curious students back inside the tent and closed the curtain door, as if the fabric could somehow protect them. At least they wouldn't have to see it. She stood in front of the tent, last rampart to a new generation that would most likely die before nightfall. Ironically her own impending doom didn't even register in her mind. She had so often been close to death that it had become a part of her.

Laura then spared a prayer for her one time lover, hoping that he had successfully led away those left in space now that she wasn't there to tell him. She wondered briefly why the Cylon Raiders had even bothered to come into the atmosphere instead of nuking the planet like they had done before but chased the question away, unwilling to allow them to occupy what would probably be her final thoughts.

Like she had the last time she had found herself about to die, she redirected her mind to the tipping point that led them there, namely the original holocaust on the colonies. Billy's worries when she had come out of the bathroom, Captain Apollo intrigued by her taking charge, her swearing in, the abandonment of thousands of people, the meeting with commander Adama in the _Galactica_ at the Ragnar anchorage, their fleeing after leaving the storm…

Laura suddenly realized that there was one thing fundamentally different from all of her previous Cylon encounters: there was no shooting. She kept her eyes trained on the sky, spotting a heavy Raider flying down, as if to land near where the _Colonial One_ was supposed to be. A few minutes afterward all heavy Raiders disappeared from the sky and soon Centurions were marching down the streets. Laura irrationally congratulated herself for sending Maya and the baby home early. It didn't really make sense since no one knew about the true parentage of the child but it made Laura feel that it would protect them somehow.

She wasn't sure what the Cylons were hoping to achieve here but she was certain she wasn't going to like it. Practically everyone was in the street, watching with morbid fascination and dread. After the Centurions came the skin-jobs. One of the "priests" she had airlocked just before the election was followed by a Black man that Starbuck had mentioned but whom she had never met and D'Anna Biers. The sight made Laura take a second glance before letting it go. There was nothing more to do now. A Sharon, a Doral and one of the Blondes joined them from the _Colonial One_ and a Leoben came from an inner street. The latter made a bee-line for Kara Thrace while the female models came to stand before her.

"Laura Roslin, you will follow us now."

She was used to the journalist voice and wondered if that was a same copy that had travelled with them or if this one had arrived with its fellow machines. She nodded and started to follow them. There was no point in defying them without even knowing what they wanted but she would be damned before she left her students unattended. She looked around for someone she could trust.

"Tyrol." She called "The school."

She didn't look back to check is he had understood what she had asked because at the same moment some pain in her lower back and abdomen made her freeze. It was not the time for a Braxton-Hicks and it was certainly not the time for premature labour. A Centurion stepped behind her, his "hand" becoming a gun. She took a deep breath and ignored the pain, like she had gotten used to during her cancer. If it kept on she would go and see Cottle as soon as the Cylons were done with her. She didn't even register the fact that she wasn't sure she would actually _be_ alive once the Cylons were done with her.

After a minute the pain stopped and she was able to walk more easily as she followed them to the ship she used to live in. Everything happened quietly, the Cylons not volunteering information on why they wanted her, Laura not asking. As she crossed one of the _Colonial One_ hatch the pain came back, sharper this time, causing her to stumble and catch herself on the bulkhead.

"Something's not right." One of the black models commented.

"Really?" Laura replied between her teeth, her jaw locked as a way to control the pain.

"She's pregnant," D'Anna offered, unknowingly answering Laura's early internal question about the identity of the copy.

The former President stiffened suddenly as unwanted and foreign hands started feeling her abdomen.

"Not for long. She needs medical attention, we should take her to the Baseship."

"What for? She's not our problem." The priest interjected.

"It would be a nice gesture of peace to help her." The blonde model explained.

"I don't need your help." Laura said through still gritted teeth.

They ignored her and started discussing together. As the pain started to recede, the dark-skinned Cylon turned to her again.

"Back this way Laura. We'll take care of you."

"I don't need your help. I don't _want_ your help." She repeated.

"It's not up to you, actually."

He took something out of a bag the Doral gave him and took her upper arm. Before she could shake him off, he had used the syringe to give her a shot. Very much like the time she had taken too many Chamalla pills, Laura felt herself becoming dizzy and unfocussed just before reality dissolved into nothingness.

)-oO,o.

**New Caprica**

**Day 382 of the settlement, thirty-seven weeks and a half after the ground breaking ceremony, day 2 of Cylon occupation.**

Laura gradually became aware of being cold. She didn't really know where she was, she wasn't on her mattress and yet she could feel the unfortunately familiar draft of the New Caprican tents. She was on her back, which was strange because for the last two months her pregnancy had made it quite uncomfortable, making her abdomen ache. It actually ached right now, she realized. She was about to turn on her side when she noticed that the aching was the only thing she felt: no kicking, no movement and no fluttering.

She put her hand where she was most used to feel her child and her breath hitched when instead of the tense skin she had gotten used to touching there was a flaccid belly. Before her worries could develop into a full panic attack, she heard a familiar voice.

"She's waking up, Miss Foster. Can you let me do my job now?"

A few seconds later Doctor Cottle appeared near her medical bed.

"Baby?" She managed to articulate around her sore throat.

"The Cylon told me he was a still born. You apparently suffered from eclampsia and they were barely able to save you as it is. The emergency C-section wasn't enough to save him as well; it was too late. They also performed an emergency hysterectomy."

"Is it true?" She asked softly.

He seemed to understand what she meant because he looked pained.

"I can't know for sure. You may have suffered from eclampsia: you always had a slight hypertension. As for your son, it's best not to know."

"Son?"

"Yes. They told me it was a boy. They kept the body. I think they only brought you back here when some of the people started accusing them of secretly killing you."

It didn't really make sense. They had talked about helping her, to help the peace or some similar crap. Did they think that helping out one person – if that was actually what they did – would make up for the slaughter of billions? Before she could even think about voicing her reflection, she realized it was black outside and Cottle wasn't next to her bed anymore. The experience was reminding her a bit too much of the day she had spent before being injected with half-Cylon blood.

People must have been coming and going all day but all she could remember was that every time she had opened her eyes after blinking to share a new idea she had had about the conversation she was having it was someone else next to her. The pain wasn't as bad and the breathing so much easier but it was the same fuzzy sensation inside her brain. It wasn't a good alcohol induced fuzzing. It was a cloudy, hard to shake hard drug induced fuzzy. And she didn't like it one bit.

"… Orpha" She rasped.

A few seconds later a nurse was near her bed.

"Are you in pain?"

She shook her head slightly and coughed a little before trying again.

"No Morpha."

'No, we cut you off a few hours ago. I don't think doctor Cottle would allow you to have more."

"Good."

She turned her head to the other side of the bed and closed her eyes. Why had she thought it was a good idea to give birth? Oh right she hadn't any choice. Not that she remember any of it anyway. She felt a few tears escape her eyes. Did she have a good reason to be sad? She didn't remember. Might be pregnancy hormones… Oh. She remembered. She wasn't pregnant anymore. That's why she was sad.

And it was day again. Or dawn because there wasn't so much darkness as before. But it might be a rainy day. New Caprica wasn't lacking in that department. The cloud in her head was not as heavy anymore. She became aware that someone was standing next to her bed but she couldn't really see who it was, her absent glasses making the unfamiliar silhouette unclear.

"What happened to you?" The person, Ellen Tigh, if her ears were to be trusted, asked.

"Sorry, what?"

"What put you in this bed? The last time I saw you like that was in the brig in _Galactica._"

Oh, Chamalla withdrawal. No, that wasn't a good memory either. Did the woman enjoy seeing her down that way? Unless Tigh had been taken too? She still didn't know why they had picked her up in the first place. Did the Cylon think she knew where Admiral Adama had jumped? She hadn't set foot on a battlestar in over a year. But Colonel Tigh had just come down.

"Don't remember, why?"

"Starbuck has disappeared. No one knows where she is, everyone thought you were together. But you came back and she didn't."

"Didn't know."

Oh. She knew: she had seen the Leoben walking up to Kara. But she hadn't thought much of it at the time. They didn't go to the _Colonial One_ together. Maybe Kara was a Cylon too, just like D'Anna Biers was? No, the idea was ridiculous. Next thing she knew she would suggest that Tory was a Cylon. Thinking of her former aide reminded her of her current job.

"School?" She asked

"What?"

"How is the School?"

"I don't know. But I think I'd know if there had been a children bloodbath."

"Good. Adama?"

"No news. He's gone."

"He'll be back." She said with the same finality and confidence she had when she had said that settling on this planet was a mistake.

She closed her eyes, tired of screwing up her eyes to focus on Ellen. Her visitor must have misinterpreted her action because she quickly said good-bye and left. Laura couldn't say she was upset to see her go for she didn't care much about the woman on the best of days – and it wasn't the best of days – but she had been a distraction. Not a nice distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. The familiar scent of cigarettes reached her nose and she opened her eyes.

"You seem more alert today. We'll try to have you walking the afternoon and then you can give me my bed back by tomorrow."

She smiled sadly, used by now to the grumbly bedside manners. The best she could do now was to move on, to forget it had ever happen and to fight the Cylons back. She knew that some of the _Galactica_ former crewmen that had moved down here would form a resistance -and she would be part of it.

)-oO,o.

**A/N:** Please don't hate me ! Still I'd love to hear what you think though. I should post the next one on saturday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to all of you who told me what they thought about the chapter.

**Zagreus**

**Part 5**

_**Colonial One**_

**Day 3 of the second Exodus**

Laura watched the Admiral standing still near a porthole while she was absentmindedly accepting the well-wishers' congratulations. It was only the second time they had seen each other since leaving the planet and it was quite anti-climactic. She hadn't dared to hope for a big display of affection, especially since the first time hadn't been private either. But with the reaction Doctor Cottle had described the last time she had heard about him before the Cylons' occupation, she had expected _some_ sort of response.

He had saluted her as she had joined Zarek and him in the ward room but he had left after the discussion - before she could even say a word to him. She had thought that it was his way of dealing with whatever had transpired between them, but then he had led the applause and standing ovation after her speech. It might only have been for show or because he approved of what she had just said but it hadn't felt like that. She excused herself from the Caprican delegate and joined him.

"Madam President."

The title wasn't foreign, it wasn't even the first time someone had said it that evening, nor was it as if they ever used anything but professional distance in company. But the last time _he_ had said it was in that very room, just before Baltar swearing in. It had held so much tenderness that day; it had been his way of assuring her that no matter what he had convinced her to do, it was she that he wanted as a President. And tonight, those two words held the same inflection and it felt like coming home.

Their relationship might not go back to whatever it was the night she became pregnant, but they were still friends and partners toward a joint goal. She suddenly felt the same way she had when he had appeared on Kobol, relief washing over her like a cleansing wave. The relief of having an equal, of having someone to share the burden, someone to talk to. She smiled widely.

"Admiral."

She saw her newly appointed vice-President heading their way. She nodded to her current interlocutor to take her leave. Only a year ago she would have put her hand on his arm or he would have squeezed her shoulder. She refused to let it affect her: it was still an improvement over the way she was feeling before the Cylons nuked their homes. What did she have then? A disgruntled married ex-lover dead set on having her job and an inoperable lump in her left breast. Now she had a purpose, a polite if somewhat distant ex-lover dead set on her keeping her job, a body as healthy as it could be and a few people she could count as friends. The two situations couldn't be compared.

Everyone had something to say about her decision to issue the Pardon. It didn't make her happy but she didn't really have a choice if she wanted the fleet to move on. There was a part of her that wished she had let Zarek go ahead and finish with his Circle, the same part that secretly hoped that Baltar's last moments were filled with pain and anguish, the part that also craved for someone she could trust to step up and take her responsibilities away. She kept that small part well hidden, silenced in the far corner of her soul, not to be listened to or considered.

She smiled politely to the new Gemenese delegate who insisted to talk about some obscure point of the scripture. It was hard to believe that before the holocaust she had been as much an atheist as the Admiral, never for one second believing in the existence of earth. And now, she was considered a religious radical, a prophet predicted by the scripture: it didn't matter that she wasn't dying anymore, she still had to endorse the part of the Dying Leader.

Sudden guilt surged through her. What if New Caprica was the salvation she was supposed to lead them to and it had turned out to be such a nightmare because of her not dying? The Lords of Kobol were cruel Gods and they could have punished the human just because she had cheated. Her smiled fled instantly and she looked around the room. She saw the priest that had just sworn her in. She couldn't speak with him, didn't feel a connection to him. She needed Elosha. A new surge of guilt swamped through her: by not dying had she make every single death that had occurred in the pursuit of the prophecy worthless?

She looked around the room again. Bill could help her; she needed to speak with him. He could help her, she was sure of that, if only he was there. Some people had started to leave the room and he must have been among them for he was nowhere to be seen. She took a deep breath and refocused on the delegate. She didn't have panic attacks, especially not in public. She would deal with it later, when she was alone, in her quarters or in the bathroom, but for now, she had to forget about it and stay together.

She allowed the Gemenese a few more minutes before excusing herself. The next Quorum session was already programmed and a press conference would follow. There was no one she needed to see and no one she wanted to. She signalled that she was leaving to Tory and stepped through the curtain to her office. As soon as she had the time she would need to do something about it: there were still signs of Baltar everywhere. She suddenly felt someone behind her.

"I haven't had the time to do anything about it but I do have a surprise, if you'll follow me."

She frowned as her vice-President walked to the Presidential quarters. She waited a few seconds before shaking the ridiculous idea that this might be a trap. The man had just stepped down from the presidency for her; it seemed unlikely that he would kill her like he had planned to do if he had been vice-President during her first term.

Instead of the huge bed that she had noticed when she had first set foot on _Colonial One_ after the exodus was a standardized cot, not unlike the one she had used in her first term. Actually the whole room seemed void of reminders of Baltar's passage and looked a bit like the way she had organized it before relinquishing her post. She wasn't sure how she was feeling about Zarek knowing that, but she wasn't about to look the gift horse in the mouth.

"I didn't think you would be comfortable sleeping where Baltar had spent most of his waking hours."

"Thank you, Tom. That is very thoughtful."

"It's my pleasure."

Laura's eyes widened. Was he about to proposition her?

"Consider it a thank you for saving my life when we were both facing the Centurions."

"I didn't really save it since they didn't have time to shoot, but I appreciate the feeling anyway."

"I'll leave you alone now. See you in the morning Madame President."

)-oO,o.

_**Colonial One**_

**Day 48 of the second exodus.**

Laura was pacing up and down the length of her office. Tory was leaning against one of the desks watching her warily. The Admiral had just sent word that he couldn't make time for a conference call. She was fuming: it was the beginning of their relationship all over again.

"Alright, that lasted long enough. Have a transport ready to bring me to the _Galactica._"

"Are you sure Madam President?"

"No, but I don't have any choice."

"Very well."

The chief of staff left the room as Laura kept pacing. She barely had any contact with him since the beginning of her new term. She knew there was a lot of work to be done: she was supposed to share some of that burden and she did to some extent but the no contact thing made it quite difficult. She got that he was still upset with her for some mysterious reason but it was becoming a problem for the fleet.

She looked down at her clothes. She never had a lot of choice but after his compliment on her dress on new Caprica she felt strangely inadequate in her usual dress suit. Tory came back with a security detail. Laura only nodded to the two men before leaving her office to go to the hangar deck. The trip was as uneventful as usual. Bill was waiting for her at the bottom of the ladder.

"I don't have time for you today Madam President. I thought I made that clear over the wireless."

"Then either make the time or be prepared to have me haunt your ship until you do."

"You can wait in my quarters. I'll see you when I'm done with my shift."

"Thank you, Admiral."

She took her leave and walked along the _Galactica._ She left her details and the additional marines that always shadowed her on the battlestar at the CO's hatch. She discarded her shoes barely two steps in before closing her eyes, savouring the feeling that filled her up. She hadn't been there since before losing the election, over eighteen months before. They were happy then. She was nervous as hell but her giggle fit had made him smile and even laugh.

She shook her head: she shouldn't do that, couldn't afford to be nostalgic. She opened her eyes and put her bag on the dining table to take out the files she had brought to work while waiting for the Admiral to remember her existence. She started reviewing the report Tory had put together for her, allowing the atmosphere of the quarters to settle her down.

A few hours later the hatch opened and the Admiral came in to sit across the desk from her, waiting for her to talk first. She closed her pen and watched him silently for a few seconds.

"Are you planning to send me to the brig?"

"What?"

"The last time you acted this cold toward me was before I tore the fleet apart. So I'm asking you, are you planning to send me to the brig?"

"Of course not."

"So you still acknowledge my position as President?"

"I don't have time for your insecurities, I have work to do."

"And what exactly do you think I'm doing? Throwing galas and playing Triad with Tom Zarek?"

His face hardened slightly.

"What were you thinking, keeping him as Vice-President?"

"It was his condition for stepping down."

"He tried to have you killed. Or have you forgotten what happened on _Cloud 9_ last colonial day?"

"Of course not - but it was a long time ago. He changed on New Caprica. We all did. Besides, I wanted him close to me and that was the best way to achieve that."

The Admiral face hardened even more, she noted with some exasperation.

"Listen, Bill, I get it that you're mad at me because of Zarek, but it's affecting our jobs. We've left the planet for forty-eight days and I have no idea where we're going. That's unacceptable."

"Gaeta is working on finding us a direction with the map we found on Kobol."

"And you didn't think I might need to know that?"

"There are still a lot of people that are malcontent with your forgiveness policy; they would feel uncomfortable if they knew Gaeta was in charge of that. I didn't want to risk a leak over the wireless."

"That is exactly why we need one-on-one meetings. We don't need to socialize but we do have to work together. And I want to be there when Gaeta delivers his discoveries."

"I'll let you know."

"Thank you."

"As you said, it's our job, Madam President."

Six weeks before the title had given her hope, now it hurt her. The only person left in the universe that used her first name was a convicted felon turned vice-President. She placed her paperwork back in her bag before putting on her shoes. A year ago he would have offered her a drink or some water, any excuse to prolong their time together. Or she might have asked about his ship. Things she didn't need to know and didn't actually want to know. But she only straightened her jacket and left his quarters with a hasty goodbye.

She wasn't about to cry but her stomach was filled with lead. There was no personal note in their meeting, no underlining affection in Bill's tone, no warmth in his eyes, nothing to indicate that he cared or even had cared. She understood his discontent of her vice-President but there was something more: it had started before, before her new term, before the exodus, before the occupation even.

The adult way of dealing with it would be to confront him, but she was afraid of opening a can of worms that should be left alone. Besides, speaking of New Caprica would mean considering a loss she had refused to grieve and dealing with feelings she had suppressed. And that she could not afford. Not now and probably not ever.

)-oO,o.

**AN:** As always I'd love to hear from you. Next chapter should be in on Wednesday


	6. Chapter 6

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to all of those who commented the story.

**A/N2**: Due to the length of this part I decided to split it in two chapters, the second half will be posted in the next chapter.

**Zagreus**

**Part 6**

_**Galactica**_

**Day 241 of the second Exodus**

Laura didn't understand men. Or, at least, she didn't understand one man in particular. That was a certainty. If he were only cold with her, she could manage – as long as he didn't forget his duties. She wouldn't like it but she could manage. If he were only warm with her she would be delighted. But he was both warm _and_ cold and that was unsettling her.

Whenever he smiled or was happy to see her, he then retreated so quickly inside himself she felt chilled to the bone and yet he never yelled, didn't fight her like he once had. It was as if he was trying very hard to hate her but couldn't quite manage it. Laura couldn't recall doing anything to warrant such a feeling and it was driving her crazy.

Laura knew it had started while she was on New Caprica, a couple of months after their night together. Had he snapped at Cottle about her sooner, she would have blamed their intimate time. But he had looked sad to leave her. Perhaps she should just let it go, take whatever good moments he gave her and count herself lucky. That's exactly what she had done with Richard Adar; she could do it again. She was already doing it to some extent.

Laura reflected over the times that she had spent with Bill. She had enjoyed the way he had stayed with her, comfortably sitting in the armchair next to hers while they were considering the difficult question of whether or not to utilize biological weaponry. She had loved joining him during "the dance". She had always liked watching men spar, but watching the fights with Bill had reminded her of the emotion she used to feel when watching them with her father. And seeing him fight had made her feel things she hadn't felt in over a year… until he had the hell beaten out of him. They had left together but he had soon made clear her company wasn't welcome anymore and his speech about getting too close also applied to her. The same could have been said when they had crossed the radioactive star cluster. He had warmly welcomed her into his quarters when it was time for the _Colonial One_ to make the passage and then he had basically thrown her out of his ship on the other side.

And now, he had had the chance to yell at her, to throw her to the brig even… and yet he had only shaved, asked for a towel and announced that he would tell the Agathons of their daughter's status.

"They think she's dead. No one should have to live with that."

His words had cut her soul. He didn't know. He couldn't know. He was talking about Zak. Of course he was talking about Zak. But the words she heard were about another boy, another son he had lost, a boy he didn't even know about. So she let him tell the Agathons. She knew the pain she had inflicted upon them; she was very aware that they would blame her forever regardless of the fact that she had been doing what was best for their little girl. She was blaming herself as well: no matter what precaution she had taken, Hera had been left down on the planet and however good Laura's intentions were she hadn't kept the baby safe.

The President understood Athena's decision to die for her child perfectly. She herself had often wished she had been killed with her son and she had no other body conveniently waiting for her on the other side. It tore her apart to be forced to publicly condemn actions that every one of her instincts approved of. She had even fleetingly wished the Admiral hadn't stepped between her and Helo to protect her from the grieving man's wrath. It was becoming more and more painful to keep the President and Laura from intertwining too much.

Laura had been somewhat buried underneath a hard and heavy shell of professionalism when her remaining family had died. It had been easy then not to listen to her feelings, to just do her job, to allow her boss to use her body while she tried to use his interest to push her loneliness away. Ironically, her diagnosed cancer had given her the energy to fight and then the end of the worlds had brought her a purpose, something to fight for and friends to actually care about more than superficially. Laura had started to set herself free from her self-imposed prison of coldness and grief. And, with that new persona came dilemmas.

They had just set a new course for the fleet with their discoveries from the Temple of five when the XO dropped a bombshell: Athena was back and she wasn't alone. Another Cylon had come back with her and was demanding to talk to the President. The fact Tight thought it would be a good idea to actually grant the request was incentive enough for Laura to allow it despite her feeling the colonel was hiding something. Besides, Adama trusted him more than anyone else and was already following him to the flight deck where one of the blonde models was in the custody of several marines. As soon as she saw her Laura realised why she hadn't been led to the brig immediately. The glamorous cylon was holding a bundle that looked suspiciously like a baby.

"She said you would confirm her explanation." Tigh offered in his usual grumbling tone.

"When we brought you on our Baseship when we first arrived on New Caprica, the Ones wanted to kill your son as soon as it was delivered. One of the eight claimed him for herself, and we indulged her. She named him Zagreus."

Laura walked between two marines to stand in front of Baltar's lover – or one of her look alikes, she didn't care which – and held out her arms. The blonde put the sleeping one year old boy in the stunned President's arms. As soon as the redhead stepped back, the soldier took the cylon away.

"Is this true?"

Laura registered Bill's question but she was still in too much shock to answer. Her son was in her arms. Her son. Her little baby whom she couldn't bring herself to look at. Her dead child whom she had never seen. How could she even know if it was true? How could she know whether the cylons were playing tricks on her mind again? What could she tell Bill?

"Laura, talk to me. Is any of this true?"

She turned to face him and took a deep breath. She could tell him what she knew to be true at least.

"It's true that I was pregnant on New Caprica. It's true that I went into early labour the day the Cylons came back. It's true they took me away when they realised it. It's true that I came back without a child. They told Cottle I had a still-born boy and they kept the body after taking out my uterus. Cottle confirmed the hysterectomy when you rescued us. That's all I know."

She lowered her gaze toward the sleeping boy in her arms at last. She couldn't recognize his face: she had never seen it before. There was no bright light with heavenly trumpets, no instant recognition, and no immediate pull to her core saying "that's my son." She sent a distress look to Bill. His face was closed and hard. But he seemed to relent after a few seconds.

"You go see Cottle, he'll do a DNA test. I'll call Zarek."

She frowned. The first part made sense and she was grateful to him for thinking about that, but it was a private matter, something the vice-President had no say in.

"Why would you do that?"

"I'm only trying to help; don't you want him to know?"

"No. Why would he even want to know?"

"He wouldn't want to know his son's alive?"

"His son? What on Kobol are you talking about?"

"When Baltar told me about your pregnancy, he mentioned that you refused to name the father but couldn't fool him. He knew Zarek was giving you a child."

"Lords help me; I'm going to kill that man."

"I get it that it wasn't his secret to tell…"

"He lied to you. The only time I talked to Baltar on New Caprica was to beg him to allow me to come and tell you we were expecting."

"What?"

"I got pregnant the night of the Ground Breaking ceremony, Bill. If that's my child then it's our son. Baltar refused my request to come and tell you then threatened to have you executed on the ground of fraternization. I didn't want to risk it so I agreed to keep my mouth shut. And when Cottle came back from _Galactica_ after talking to you about me, I figured it wouldn't have mattered and you didn't care anyway."

"You should have told me."

"I couldn't chance it."

Laura felt a movement in her arms. The child was awake. She didn't look down; she refused to look into his eyes. If it was a cylon trick it would hurt too much if she started bonding with the boy. She looked around instead. Tigh had bowed out and the deckhands and pilots were respectfully keeping their distance but she could tell they were looking at her curiously. It made her uncomfortable.

"We should go to sickbay."

"You go: you obviously don't want me involved."

Before she could protest or deny anything he had turned and left. She stayed where she was for a moment until the child started to fuss. She cuddled him closer, hiding his face against her collarbone. Her arms were starting to tire so she headed to sickbay, her security detail falling into step behind her. When she had first come aboard, every corridor had looked the same and she couldn't have found her way to save her life. Now she could reach her destination without even thinking about it.

"The XO said you might stop by." Cottle welcomed her as she passed the door. "Sit here; I'll draw some blood from both of you."

"Don't you have some of mine left over?"

"You know most mothers worry about their child, not themselves."

"I'm not sure I'm his mother yet. Just do what you have to do."

She sat on the bed and held out her left arm, holding the fussing child with the other. She wasn't feeling a single thing. She was either in shock or just too confused to know which emotion was swirling in her mind and which was just dormant. She allowed the doctor to unwrap the blanket-covered boy to draw the blood.

"It'll take a while but I need to examine him anyway. You can stay here with him."

"No, that's alright. I have things to do. I'll pick him if he's actually mine."

She put the one year old in the doctor's arms and got up before leaving sickbay without a single glance back. She was soon in front of the Admiral's quarters, wondering if she should knock or just barge in. She would usually knock but she felt like barging in. On the other hand, she didn't know if Adama was there and she would feel quite foolish starting to rant to an empty room. There were no marines outside his hatch but there weren't always guards there so it didn't really mean anything. She decided on a middle ground: she didn't knock but opened the door quietly and stepped silently inside, waiting to see if he was there before talking. He was sitting on his couch, nursing a drink in his right hand.

"Where's your son?"

"Our son is for all intents and purpose dead. I left the boy with Cottle. You had no right to react the way you did. Can you honestly say you wouldn't have come down without any form of authorisation had you known?"

"We will never know now, will we?"

"That's a lie and you know it. We only survived that hell because you were in your ship and you rescued us. I am not going to apologize for making a decision that saved us all."

"I still had a right to know."

"And I had a right to have someone's support during my pregnancy. I did my best to have you informed. I gave up all dignity to beg Baltar only to have my situation turned to ridicule and the father of my unborn child threatened. I chose to leave you ignorant and alive rather than dead or imprisoned. I did what I thought was best at the time."

"It wasn't your decision to make."

"And whose was it then? The only time I heard from you was when you snapped at Cottle for mentioning my name. Not the best way to establish a dialogue."

"I thought you were expecting someone else's child."

"You chose to believe Baltar rather than trust me to be true to you. You have no grounds to blame me for anything here, Bill."

He didn't answer, only took a long sip from his drink. Laura sighed deeply and sat next to him on the couch.

"Was that the reason you were so cold with me when we got off that gods forsaken planet?"

"Yes."

His caution made sense but so did the hurt she was feeling. It always came back to trust between them.

)-oO,o.

**A/N : **This chapter is the only one that really changes what you see on the show. I tried my best to stay as close as possible to the story line, trying to insert my story as missing scenes that we just didn't see, but I couldn't for this one.

As always I'd love to hear from you and to know what you think. Next chapter (and second part of these events) should be posted on saturday.


	7. Chapter 7

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And all those who reviewed the story.

**A/N2**: Due to the length of this part I decided to split it in two chapters, this one starts immediately after the 6th.

**Zagreus**

**Part 7**

**Galactica**

**Still day 241 of the second Exodus**

Laura hadn't trusted him not to be a cylon, Bill hadn't trusted her not to sleep around. It hurt. A lot. Lack of love, change of heart, she could understand. Their relationship came from being forced closely together and they had just as suddenly been torn apart. The only thing that really made sense was the trust they had built in one another. And now he basically told her it had all been in her mind. It hurt. A lot.

"When did you stop trusting me? Did you ever trust me at all?"

"Of course I trusted you!"

"Then why did you believe Baltar?"

"I know you were sleeping with Adar."

Laura froze, speechless. She hadn't been expecting that. Bill waited for her to regain her composure.

"How do you even know that? And what does it have to do with anything?"

"I found a letter while I was sorting through your things before sending them to storage. And it means you're attracted to men of power. Indicates a pattern."

"What? So because I had a lasting affair with a man who happened to be President – a fact that started after we began sleeping together – that means I want to jump anything that holds an ounce of power?"

"You also slept with me."

"Once. I slept with you once after more than a year of knowing you." She got up and started pacing in front of him.

"And I am an Admiral. It's a position of power."

"Seriously? You think I slept with Cain too? You know, before I asked you to execute her. And Elosha, perhaps, she was high Priestess after all. Do you think I frakked Cylons as well? Oh, let's not forget about Tigh, he was leading the resistance. What do you think Bill?! Did your best friend screw my brains out?!"

She turned to him as she screamed. She had never screamed at him before, not when he wanted to leave the fleet to fend for itself at Ragnar, not when he refused to stop looking for Kara, not even when he had thrown her in the brig. But she was done being the polished politician, especially since it was a personal matter where the President had no say. When Bill remained calm and didn't say a word, Laura clenched her jaw and turned back toward the hatch.

"I didn't want to believe you told Baltar before me."

His voice stopped her before she could put her hand on the cold metal. She kept her back to him though, unwilling to see him try and justify himself.

"Baltar, of all people. The man you despise nearly as much as cylons. I refused to believe you could tell him before informing the father of your child. With that in mind it could be me. After that you didn't come. You didn't even write so I figured I had been right. The fact that you kept Zarek on as vice-President when you came back supported that. When you didn't say a single word about a baby and started seeking me out I thought Baltar had made up the pregnancy to tear us apart."

The sudden ringing surprised them both. Laura heard him getting up to answer the phone.

"Adama… Yes, we're coming."

He hung up.

"Cottle wants to see us both. He has some news."

Laura finally turned around and nodded. She waited for him to button up his jacket before opening the hatch. She wasn't sure how she would have answered him had the phone not rung. She understood his point of view but she had more trouble letting go of her anger than William Adama, she always had. She never really let go actually, she merely redirected any lingering resentment to another target. That's what she had done with Zarek: transferring their past animosity toward the mad cylon lover scientist allowed her to deal with her new-vice President on a daily basis. Maybe could she do the same with Bill? Their falling off was in great part due to Baltar after all.

She was walking side by side with the Admiral, nodding absentmindedly to whomever saluted them. Bill was silent as well but unlike her he didn't look like he was searching for words. Reaching sickbay gave her both relief and anxiety: the uncomfortable walk was over but the doctor probably had some news about the child. Bill's presence didn't mean anything: either the boy was theirs and Cottle thought the father might want to know whether or not Laura agreed with that or the tests had revealed something that both the President and the Admiral should be aware of.

"Great, you're both here." Cottle said as he directed them to a curtained area. "Now take your son out of my hands and let me deal with my other patients. He's healthy and about a year old…"

"I know my son's birthday." Laura snapped.

"So he's your son now. That's progress from earlier I guess. Now get the hell out of…"

"Are you sure the tests are conclusive?"

"What do you think I am? An incompetent moron? I even tested you to be sure. The boy is a hundred per cent yours. Congratulations."

He led them out of sickbay, practically pushing them out the door. The young boy was fussing in his mother's arms. They stood there for a few seconds before starting the walk back to the commanding officer's quarters. Once they were back inside his living space Bill took the child Laura was still ignoring and sat down on his couch.

"What's his name?"

"I have no idea."

"What?"

"I hadn't decided on a name yet. I was still supposed to have a month left. I liked Evelyn or Tamara if it was a girl but that's as far as I went. It obviously isn't a girl."

"The cylon said he was called Zagreus."

The boy appeared to react at the name.

"If you've forgotten that it's one of Dionysus' avatars, it's actually quite fitting. Son of Zeus, he was taken because of Hera's jealousy before being brought back to life by Athena." Her tone was emotionless, as if she was just teaching theology to a class of uninterested students.

"You're okay with our son being named by cylons?"

"He's not my son. No matter what Cottle says, he's not my son."

"How can you say that?"

"My child was taken from my body. I have no memories of giving birth; I have no memories of breastfeeding. One moment I was pregnant and when I woke up I wasn't."

"That's exactly what you did to the Agathons and they welcomed their daughter with open arms."

"Sharon saw her child; she spent time with her daughter. Me? I might have carried him for eight month but he died on New Caprica. I never saw him; I never bonded with him… He's not mine."

"You can bond with him now. You barely looked at him."

"I'm the President of the twelve colonies. I don't have time to bond with a toddler. I can't raise a child on the _Colonial One_, Bill, I just can't."

"Do you think I can raise him and command a Battlestar?"

"Then what are we going to do? We can't just abandon him…"

"We could have someone adopt him, just like you did with Hera."

"Will you stop comparing him with her? And I'm not about to give our son to other people."

"He needs to have someone and if neither of us can do that, we need to find someone else."

She sighed and sat on an armchair.

"I didn't want him. That is I never considered him a possibility and then when I realised I was pregnant I didn't have a choice. You couldn't be there; it was just the two of us. So I started to love him or her, because I mostly thought I was expecting a girl. And then the cylon took me. When I woke up, I didn't have the luxury to mourn; it was easier to just deny I had ever been pregnant. I shouldn't have been in the first place. The odds…" She sighed again. "I'll take him. There's a day-care on _Colonial One_, I'll get him in. If you want to rename him, do it. But I can't."

"What's your father's name?"

"We're not naming him after my father."

"You loved your father."

"Yes. I loved my sisters too and I didn't want to use their names for my baby girl."

"What baby girl?"

"I spent most of the pregnancy sure it was going to be a girl. I didn't want to know for sure so I thought I was expecting a girl. It's not a girl. Obviously. But I don't want to name him after my father. I don't actually want to name him."

"So you're fine with Zagreus?"

The boy in his arms moved again, raising his face to look at his father's.

"I don't care either way. I don't care if you rename him, I don't care if you don't. I don't care either way."

"How about Billy then? You liked the boy."

"He was like a son to me. I'm not replacing him with some cylon spawn."

"Laura… Do you still think I'm a cylon?"

"Of course not!"

"Are you a cylon?"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Then our son is no cylon spawn. And you're not replacing Billy. If you are going to shoot down every name, maybe we _should_ keep Zagreus."

Once again the boy seemed to react to his name. Laura called it again and the child turned his head toward her.

"He seems used to it. He knows it's him, maybe we ought to keep it." She said. "You know, not to mess him up even more."

"Mess him up?"

"He spent the first year of his life on a cylon baseship, his mother clearly doesn't want him and his father is busy commanding a battlestar. That's really not the best start in life."

"If you were so adamant not to have a child, why didn't you abort?"

"It's illegal."

"So is stealing election and you tried to anyway."

"It was one of my executive decisions. One I didn't even want to make but felt we hadn't any choice. And just like you said about stealing the election, it would have killed me inside."

"Then why don't you want to give him to someone else?"

"Because he's the only child I'll ever have. I'm supposed to love him. And I do. But not him, I love the baby I lost on New Caprica. They're not the same person in my mind, not yet anyway."

Zagreus was calm on his father's knees. Bill appeared to be more composed, as if he didn't want to restart the fight they had been having before Cottle's call.

"I _will_ take him Bill. He'll be with me at night, there's no need to scold. I may even warm up to him."

"You haven't looked at him."

"And you haven't talked to him. I'll get there eventually. I just need a little time."

"Take him then."

"What?"

"I've had him since we came back here. Take him."

"I'd rather not."

"Laura, you're a teacher, you're good with children."

"Other people's."

The Admiral sighed again before putting his son on his feet and nudging him toward Laura. She rolled her eyes before holding out her arm for the boy to tumble into. He laughed as she scooped him up against her. He threw his little arms around her neck and hugged her.

"He doesn't appear to have anything against his mother. You will be fine with him."

"I don't really have a choice. We'll be going now. When Baltar wakes up we will have to question him about the cylons. I'll call you tomorrow to arrange it, but now I need to get back to my ship."

"I may try to come and visit."

"Okay."

Laura rose with her son in her arms and nodded to Bill before taking her leave. As she walked through the corridor to go down to the flight deck, Zagreus hanged confidently around her neck.

)-oO,o.

**A/N : **As always, I'd love to hear what you think. I should post the next one on wednesday.

**A/N2**: Apparently things weren't quite clear about why Bill was mad at Laura so here is a recap of the event: Laura discovered she was pregnant, she begged Baltar to allow her to go to the _Galactica_ to tell Bill, Baltar refused and told Bill Laura was pregnant with somebody else's child and the next time Cottle visited, he realised that Bill was mad at Laura.

On another note, if you want to know more about Zagreus signification you should check the wikipedia page


	8. Chapter 8

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thanks to the few that reviewed last chapter.

**A/N2: **I wanted to clarify why Baltar was cruel to Laura and Bill to those who felt it was out of character for him.

In my mind Baltar is afraid of what Laura and Bill are capable of together, namely overturning his government if they feel he's not doing a good enough job (which he knows he's not). He realized very well what happened during the election and fears that by giving him a child Laura might be able to change Bill's mind about the rigged election and therefore have the military support for a push. By forbidding Laura to tell Bill he makes sure to keep their no contact status and by lying to Bill he protect himself from future attempt by creating a bridge between them.

I hope it was clearer that way. I can't really put it in the story since it's from Laura's point of view and I don't see her confronting Baltar on this particular issue.

**Zagreus**

**Part 8**

_**Colonial One**_

**Day 266 of the second Exodus**

Laura was exhausted. Over the last few weeks the Admiral's effort to get Baltar to talk had been hopeless and she was stuck on _Colonial One_ overseeing the re-localisation of people whose ships had been lost in the radioactive cluster. At the same time, she was trying to warm up to her son. Zagreus had easily gotten used to going to day-care and sleeping in a cot in her room but his mother spent most nights awake, unused to the permanent presence. She had finally decided to visit _Galactica_ and interrogate Baltar herself. She was still unsure whether to bring Zagreus with her. Bill would probably be elated to see him but neither of them would have time to take care of the toddler.

The decision was easy to make once she resolved that being selfish once in a while wouldn't make much difference in the grand schemes of things. She needed to have some time away from the young stranger she had taken upon herself to raise. _Colonial One_ was supposed to be her home but it didn't quite feel like that anymore. It could be some lingering presence of her poisonous Cylon-loving predecessor or it could be the innocent childish creature she was supposed to love while he was sucking up all her energy. Or it could be the overbearing pull of the _Galactica_, she thought, as she looked through the porthole to see a small part of their giant protector's massive shape while waiting for her transport to be ready.

She didn't feel quite as safe on _Colonial One_ anymore. It was ridiculous, really. Her ship was the closest to the battlestar, more often than not, it was the first to jump away any sign of trouble and was probably the fullest of Marines after the _Galactica_ itself. And the battlestar was always the last to jump away, it was always drawing enemy's fire and it was also hosting several cylons. Yet, when most people wished to go onto the _Zephyr_ or regretted the loss of _Cloud 9_, she was hoping for a few hours on _Galactica_.

Tory came in to inform her that the shuttle was waiting for her. Laura nodded and picked up her son from the corner where he was playing, forgetting her previous decision not to bring him with her. Bill hadn't had the time to visit in over a week and would be glad for the visit. Besides, there was probably a day-care aboard the battlestar as well.

As usual, two marines were waiting to escort them to the commanding officer's quarters. She smiled fondly to Corporal Venner, one of her jailor/accomplice during the whole Arrow of Apollo business. The man often volunteered to keep an eye on her on the battlestar whenever Bill asked for it. Laura wondered whether the Admiral was concerned for the President's safety or if Bill simply believed Laura would still get lost on his ship.

)-oO,o.

_**Galactica**_

**Still day 266 of the second Exodus**

All in all the day was a disappointment, Laura mused, as she rested on Adama's rack. No matter what they'd tried, nothing had worked on the turncoat that was their former President. Neither the threats nor the drugs had been efficient, not to mention the kindness which allowed Baltar to barely escape with his life. All of this had drained Laura of any energy Zagreus hadn't managed to suck out of her. She had all but begged Bill to put up with her and not send her back to her own ship for the night. He was currently putting their son to sleep on a makeshift bed in the living room area of his cabin while she was trying to will her soreness away.

She had always suspected he would make a good once-in-a-while father and his action with their son proved it. She wondered if he would be just as good for the full time job. She would never really know: he would always be a military man, hiding away in his ship to protect them all. She knew she was unfair. She had kept him in the dark on New Caprica and now he couldn't afford to be anything more than an absent father. Perhaps when they finally find Earth, they could be a real family… Laura held back a sigh.

She still hoped they would find the way to Earth, but somehow she couldn't see herself living there happily ever after. It was a morbid thought, but she didn't think she would ever see it, and if she did, it would cost her her life anyway. She wasn't supposed to live to enter the new land, only to guide the caravan of the heavens to their homeland. She might not have cancer anymore but it didn't mean she couldn't find thousands of other ways to die. Assassination would be her best guess. A cylon's weapon followed closely, of course. Then there could be an accident, either aboard one of the ships or during her numerous commutes. She could also drop dead from sheer exhaustion, she mused. She _was_ morbid.

"What are you thinking about?" Bill asked as he came back to sit by her legs on his rack.

"All the ways I could die."

"I would have thought you would try to find ways for _Baltar_ to die."

"I don't have to think about that. I already have a list with more items than we have refugees."

"You and me both."

They remained silent for a few moments before Laura started talking again.

"I told him I didn't take any satisfaction in seeing his pain."

)-oO,o.

_**Colonial One**_

**Day 284 of the second Exodus**

Her day had started so well, Laura mused, as she helped Cottle put Tory's shoulder back in place. She had been looking forward to her date with Adama. It hadn't been an official date, of course, but she had decided to act as if it had been. They had finally been going to talk about their night on New Caprica. Their only night. She had been planning on bringing their son and giving him to his half-brother to baby-sit. She had even told Tory to clear her schedule for the next morning in case they reached the point of deciding on a repeat performance. All of that was gone now. Even if she did go to _Galactica_ they both would have too much work to even think of talking of their personal relationship.

The noise Tory's shoulder made as it popped back in place brought Laura back to the present. The feeble number of casualties was unexpected. They were really lucky. _She_ was lucky to be alive… Also that might have to do with the fact that they were nowhere near finding Earth. Her encounter with the cylons on board the _Galactica _when they were boarded came to her mind: the Gods might still be looking out for her. They might have forgiven her for not dying after all. She comforted her chief of staff for a few moments before going back to her office to transport files she might need to work on while waiting for the repairs to be completed.

She jumped when the Admiral took half of her pile. She had been known he had come over with the medical raptor but she had thought he would be in day-care with his son, whom he had come to love dearly. Laura still was tense around Zagreus and yet had had to suppress her first impulse to check on him.

"Are you all right?" His sincere concern was heart-warming.

"I am, but I'll guess we'll be working tonight, nothing more."

"I'm afraid so. But we can't complain."

"I know."

"You got off lucky, a dozen injuries, no fatalities."

)-oO,o.

_**Galactica**_

**Day 332 of the second Exodus**

Her cancer was back. Laura was oddly relieved to learn that. If she was dying again, everything ought to be back on track somehow. She wasn't really _glad_ to be facing her death again, but then everyone was living on borrowed time anyway. She would need to tell Bill about it. He should actually be the first to know. He had forgiven her for being the last the first time around but he wouldn't be so lenient now. Besides, she _wanted_ to tell him first. She _needed _for him to know first. Her body was once again trying to kill her, leaking out all of her precious energy. Bill could give her strength. Bill would _be_ her strength.

She was currently aboard the _Galactica_, it would be so easy to join him in CIC or wait for him in his quarters. She could be selfish for just a few hours, forget about the fleet, forget about the cylons, forget about her son. The people couldn't blame her, now, could they? She was already giving her life for them, what more could they want? Making the decision quickly, she slipped the new chamalla bottle in her briefcase and walked briskly to her own haven amidst the fleet. There were no Marines to inform outside the Admiral's hatch so she left her own to protect whatever life she could hope for. As she had surmised the rooms were empty.

She had planned to do some paperwork to assuage her guilty conscience. Although the rack was as tidy as ever, the pillow kept a slight imprint where Bill's head had rested before getting up that morning. She hesitated for a whole second before putting her briefcase on the desk, divesting herself of her shoes and walking slowly to the rack. She stroked the sheet slightly and climbed to lie on top of it, careful to put her cheek on the mark her former lover had left behind.

If she allowed herself, she could easily imagine being twenty and healthy again. If they had met thirty years earlier… She would have dismissed him as too old for her. At twenty-three she only thought about getting her doctorate before going back to class as a teacher. She would have dismissed the thirty year old military man as nothing to concern herself with without a second glance. Perhaps she should wish to be only ten years younger and healthy? At forty-five she might have tried to know more about him before giving in to stereotype. Of course at that point she was already having an affair with her boss so she might not have considered him as a lover. She _would_ not have considered him as a lover… unless he had been having his own affair with Marcie Adar.

Laura smiled as she remembered her relationship with the former First Lady. She couldn't really consider them best friends but they certainly were close. Marcie was well aware of her husband's affection for his Secretary of Education: she had been the one to convince Laura to succumb to Richard's seduction during their first campaign. The President's wife had covered for them on several occasions, not out of sense of misplaced duty but because she quite approved of the affair, which allowed her her own lovers whom she sometimes directed to Laura once she was done with them. Richard had probably been unaware of his wife's schemes, very content in the belief that Laura and he were simply good at hiding their encounters.

They were, in more way than one, since no one discovered any incriminating evidence while he was in office, but the former Secretary of Education knew quite well that the former First Lady was to thank for that. Richard had probably also been sure that Laura never knew about the other women he sometimes entertained. She didn't really care: their relationship was not one of love. She had never felt the urge to reciprocate, rejecting Marcie Adar's cast-off systematically. If Bill had been one of them however… She might have gotten to know him through her friend and broken her rule if the former First Lady had ever sent him her way.

Maybe she could daydream about that. It wasn't very romantic or glamorous but it had to beat waiting for him in his quarter to tell him as a friend that her cancer had returned. It especially beat the part about them not being lovers. She could be coming back from a late meeting with her cabinet. Bill would be waiting for her in her bed, exactly where she had left him that morning. She closed her eyes. She would smile tiredly at seeing him there and change quickly in the bathroom. The meeting would have been fulfilling: tiring but full of purpose and progress. She would slip beside him, resting her head against his shoulder, trying to match their breathing before slowly falling asleep.

)-oO,o.

**A/N**: I'd love to hear from you and I shall post the final chapter this week-end. I don't exactly know whether it'll be on Saturday or Sunday though.


	9. Chapter 9

**Rated**: T for now

**Summary**: Another Alternative Universe after Bill and Laura spend the night together on New Caprica

**Disclaimer**: Battlestar Galactica and its characters don't belong to me. I make no money from this work of fiction.

**A/N**: Thank you to Laura Mayfair and her cat who proofread the story. And thank you to all who reviewed the story along the way.

**A/N2**: Since it's the final chapter it's a bit longer than the others

**Zagreus**

**Part 9**

_**Galactica**_

**Day 333 of the second Exodus**

Laura smiled as she leisurely woke up. She recognized the smell and the pillow right away. Bill's quarters. She was a bad girl, she thought lazily, without opening her eyes. A thousands things required her attention and here she was, napping on the Admiral's rack. She had a very good excuse but it still felt decadent, a real luxury she shouldn't have taken. Finally the guilt surpassed the laziness and she opened her eyes with a sigh. In the dim light, she could see Bill's back at his desk. She allowed herself to stay still for a few moments before getting up and joining him.

"Hey," she said as she put a hand on his shoulder. "You should have woken me when you got back."

"Hey. I figured that if you were tired enough to hijack my rack without even asking, you probably needed the sleep."

"You need your sleep too. What time is it anyway?"

"0100. And you don't have to worry: I made some arrangement with Tory for Zagreus."

"Thank you."

She sat across the desk as he started to work again. She watched him for a few minutes before taking out her own paperwork. They read in silence for about half an hour when Laura started to talk without taking her eyes of the report in her hand.

"We are probably back on track to find Earth."

"Yes we are. At least Gaeta is confident about it."

"We're not quite there yet, but you'll find it."

"_We_ will find it, Laura. I haven't given up hope."

"Neither have I, Bill. But I won't live long enough to see it."

She wasn't reading the report anymore but still kept it in front of her face, unwilling to reveal any vulnerability before Bill understood what she was trying to tell him. He obviously had other plans because he gently took the paper out of her hand and put it on the desk between them.

"Don't be ridiculous. What are you talking about?"

Laura swallowed uneasily.

"I had an appointment with Cottle today. As it turns out, your son and Baltar are not the sole reason I'm tired all the time."

"You have to say it plainly," he said after a few seconds. "I won't accept it otherwise."

"My cancer is back. I'm dying again."

"Surely you've caught it early enough this time. You can fight it, can't you?"

"I don't intend to."

"What?"

"I obviously need to die for the fleet to be allowed to reach salvation."

"Is that more of you religious crap?"

His face was hard. She couldn't blame him for being angry: she was leaving him alone again. She sighed softly.

"I can see right through you. You might not believe in the Gods but you don't consider it crap. You came with me in the Tomb of Athena."

"I still don't think you ought to give up and let yourself die."

"I am not giving up."

"Then fight! What is Cottle's plan?"

"Chamalla. Just like last time."

"So you'll start having visions again… and for all the good it did you… Isn't Diloxan a better course of action?"

"It might be. I just don't want it."

"Could it help?"

"Perhaps. But I've seen my mother endure that. I can't do it on my own."

"You wouldn't be. You could stay here for your treatment."

"It's not just an infusion. It's several infusions in sickbay, then it's hours of headaches, nausea, muscle spasms. Then let's not forget depression, restlessness, apathy, and my personal favourite bitchiness."

"As if I wasn't used to your bitchiness. You can stay here as long as you need. As long as you want."

His face was open and she could see the honesty in his eyes. Maybe accepting treatments wouldn't be breaking the Gods' rules… maybe it was only bending them a little. And it was probably worth living with him for a while. For the rest of her life actually since she was sure the cancer would kill her anyway. He was still looking at her expectantly. She smiled fondly.

"All right. If you are sure you can deal with my letting Cottle slowly poison my blood, I'll schedule Diloxan treatment with him for the day after my testimony in Baltar's trial.

"Really?"

"You seem surprised."

"I wasn't expecting you to accept so easily."

"I'm glad to see I can still surprise you, Admiral.

She smiled coyly before picking up her report again. She knew perfectly she would spend her first treatment regretting her decision and hating herself. Bill still hadn't gone back to work. Laura allowed him a few minutes before looking up at him.

"Is there anything else?"

"Is that why you came here tonight?"

"Yes. It seemed impossible not to tell you. I suddenly couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing my time was once again limited."

She could see in his eyes that he wanted to reprimand her choice of words but he restrained himself. He also seemed moved by her answer, which moved her in return. She slightly changed the subject.

"We'll have to find a more permanent solution for Zagreus."

It was a concern she hadn't expected to have. She still had trouble considering him as her son but was warming up to him in much the same way she would with any child put in her care. It surprised the Admiral as well.

"He's coming here with you of course. We have a day-care on this ship too."

"I know. He's been there before. What I meant was for after I'm…"

"Don't. You are not going to die."

Laura sighed but didn't contradict him. She had been in his shoes before. He would need to go through the different stage of grief on his own. Denial was sweet in its own way. It hurt in the end but it felt good while it lasted.

"We should get some sleep. You can have your rack back, I don't mind the couch."

"Nonsense. Come with me."

She put her glasses, pen et report down on the desk on the desk and rose to follow him toward the rack. She watched as he took off his shoes, lay down next to the bulkhead and held out his hand. She smiled and climbed beside him, putting her cheek on his shoulder.

"Do you realize how this will look like to the private bringing you your coffee tomorrow morning?" She chuckled teasingly.

"I don't care."

"What if _I_ care?"

"Sleep."

"Yes sir."

)-oO,o.

_**Galactica**_

**Day 342 of the second Exodus**

Laura really hadn't missed the Chamalla induced visions. Especially the one involving cylons. It was also the first time that the cylons shared the vision. With Hera safely in sickbay, Athena and Laura were coming back from their visit to the holding cell after their chat with the six.

"I heard about your cancer coming back. Are you going to demand blood from my daughter again?"

"No. I didn't demand it the first time either."

"Right, you just took it."

"You may not know this but I wasn't even part of the decision. I wasn't even conscious at the time. I am not going to force you into doing anything for me."

"So you _are_ going to ask for it."

"No."

"We won't offer it to you."

"That's good, because I wouldn't accept it."

"Even if it might save your life?"

"Especially since it might save my life. 'A dying leader will lead them all to salvation'. I am not much use to anybody if I am not dying."

Laura stopped as they were nearing sickbay and turned toward Sharon. She waited for the young woman to look at her before speaking.

"I know you don't like me, and I can't really blame you, but you have to know that my only purpose is finding a place for my people to live. I am grateful to Hera for saving my life and I honestly thought I was doing what was best for her when I took her away from you. If what happened in the Opera House does actually occur in reality, I will do whatever I can to change the outcome and keep your daughter safe. I won't do it because of what she can bring to me personally but because I care for the girl. Good day, Lieutenant."

Before the Cylon pilot could answer, Laura turned quickly and went back to the room where the trial was held.

)-oO,o.

_**Galactica**_

**Day 343 of the second Exodus**

When her cancer had returned, Laura had always assumed it would kill her. It did make sense. But nowhere in the scripture was it said that the dying leader would succumb to her wasting disease. A demon – Cylon – bullet would work just fine. It would be a shame for Bill's carpet: blood didn't come off that easily, but at least Laura would die somewhere homey and comfortable. Laura was feeling way too bad from her diloxan treatment to deal with Kara Thrace – or whatever that thing that thought to be Kara Thrace was.

On the other hand maybe it would resolve the situation for once and for all. She was tired; she was feeling like crap and living with both the Admiral and their son was proving to be painful. If that was all that was left to her life then she wouldn't mind dying now that she could still walk, eat and dress on her own. It was quite vain of her but it would also mean that she would get to cross over with a headful of hair: she hadn't been looking forward to the hair loss.

"Shoot me."

Laura wasn't expecting that. This side of the gun was actually more frightening. Killing in cold blood she could do – had done it before, really. But it had been using the airlock, and it had never been her finger on the trigger or the red button. She had never handled a weapon. Not on Caprica before the fall, not on _Colonial One_ when civil war had threatened, not on _Galactica_ when the Centurion had boarded, not on Kobol when Cylons didn't want her finding earth and not even on New Caprica when she was co-leading the resistance. Oh, she knew the theory and the captain had apparently readied the weapon for her.

She could use it, but should she use it? She might be able to think a little more clearly if the… Kara for a lack of better determination wasn't shouting at her. If she could just shut up… If Laura killed Kara, Bill would not forgive her, it would cause another split and that was exactly what the Cylons were counting on. Having a model killed was nothing to them… Should she shoot?

"Shoot me! If I'm a cylon, shoot me!"

There was the answer then. Laura said something about her being perfect before picking up the gun and pressing the trigger in a singular move. The sound and the recoil shook her and made her close her eyes. She opened them right away but she was still haggard. The girl fell down shouting.

"Let go of me?"

It didn't really make sense since she wasn't holding her. Although the people that had burst into the door were. Tigh took the gun out of her hand and Bill asked if she was all right. She stared silently at him while Kara was still shouting in the background. Laura guessed she had missed her, which wasn't that surprising considering her blurry state of mind.

After the marines and the XO had taken her away and the door had closed on the Admiral's quarters, Bill turned to look her over without a word. She was still unstable after her treatment though and turned back to the rack, probably because he was done with his survey of her health. She lay back and put the cloth back on her eyes.

"What was that about?"

The President sighed deeply when she realized that her new roommate had followed her. Now that he had reassured himself that she was safe and sound he seemed to want to have it out with her. Well, Laura was in no mood to indulge the Admiral. Even if it hadn't been her first time believing herself about to die, it wasn't a pleasant experience and she felt she deserved if not being taken care of, at least being left alone.

"Can we deal with that later? I know we'll have to address the situation but I can't really think strait right now."

"Yes, of course." Bill seemed to suddenly remember why the President was sharing his personal quarters. "Can I get you anything?"

More than two and a half years before, she had joked that she could do with a new body. She had been days away from death then, and yet she had been feeling better than the way she was feeling now. Was time worth the fact that she wasn't even in the mood to banter with the closest person she had left? She groaned, unsure whether it was from the pain or her displeasure with her own thoughts.

"Laura? Are you all right?"

Biting back the snide comment that had first came to her mind; she smiled tiredly but didn't uncover her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just make sure that anything Tory sends over is on your desk with the rest of my paperwork. I'll deal with it later tonight."

"Very well."

)-oO,o.

_**Galactica**_

**Day 528 of the second Exodus**

Laura kept sobbing in Bill's shoulder as he led her back to their quarters. She had really thought she had lost him during the mutiny and although it had only strengthened her resolve at the time, now that the adrenaline had run out, seeing him had broken her. No matter what happened, there would be no happily ever after for them. Even if their dream came true and they found a habitable planet that wasn't a nuclear wasteland, she would still die. She should already be dead and if it hadn't been for Bill, she would be.

The intense despair she had felt earlier that day was what he would experience in a few weeks, a few months if they were lucky. She could only hope his family would be there for him. His son… She gasped.

"Where is our son?"

Bill stopped walking and tightened his hold on her.

"Can we talk about that in our quarters?"

"No. Is he alright? What happened?"

She moved out of his embrace to look at him in the eyes. His face was hard, like steel.

"He escaped day-care at some point during the mutiny and apparently got hit by some cross-fire."

Laura frowned. It didn't make sense.

"No. It's not possible: Zarek would have used it to try and manipulate me, just like he used you. It must be some other boy."

"It's not, Laura. Zarek probably didn't even know. And with your indifferent attitude toward Zagreus, Zarek wouldn't have cared."

"My indifferent… Are you saying that it is my fault he died?"

"No. And if he hadn't left day-care in the confusion, it would have saved him. No one looked for him or actually intended to kill him. Corporal Venner found him afterwards and came to me."

Laura swallowed and tucked herself back into his side.

"Bill, take me home. I need… Just take me home."

He nodded without a word and started walking again, slowly, to accommodate her shaky legs and drained strength. Once inside he situated her on the couch and offered her something to drink. She shook her head and patted the sofa next to her. He sat heavily and unbuttoned his uniform. Laura looked at him.

"I am so sorry, Bill. I know you cared a great deal about him."

The old Admiral seemed taken aback.

"Of course I cared about him! Didn't you?"

"I did, but it's not the same. I will see him soon on the other side. And when I eventually leave you, you won't have him to remember me by."

"Why would you leave me? Are you planning a vacation?"

"Apollo said the exact same thing the first time I told him."

"I don't need anything to remember you by. But I will miss him."

"I already do. But I'm used to that."

She could tell by his face that he didn't understand her point. Yes she was used to missing people; by now they all were. But it wasn't what she meant.

"He was a ghost to me: he had already died. Unlike Kara who is so like herself that the fact we thought her dead only seems to be a nightmare now, Zagreus is nothing like I imagined. I mourned him long ago. And that little boy… I never really realized he was more than a figment of my imagination. On the other hand I would have expected a more violent reaction from you."

There was no answer and although his expression didn't show incomprehension anymore, it was still weary.

"Bill? Talk to me."

"That reaction happened before your raptor came back."

"I see. I'm so sorry for your loss."

He got up and held out a hand to her. She took it so she could get up and followed him to his rack. He watched her as she carefully undressed herself and put on her nightwear. It was still mid-afternoon but she was more than ready for the day to be over and the day's events had left her exhausted. He tucked her under the blanket and kissed her lips softly as she closed her eyes; she didn't open them when he left.

She wouldn't have supper ready, she thought as their morning banter came back to her mind. She hadn't rested and wouldn't have supper ready but it didn't matter because he wouldn't be home. He would be killing men. Executing them, really. They deserved it, she guessed, and if she wasn't so tired she would have gone, too. But she could barely stay awake. She could sleep now, and she wouldn't have to wake up in a few hours: There was no-one to pick-up from day-care anymore.

)-oO,o.

**A/N**: Hated it, loved it? I'd really like to know

**A/N2**: Well this is the end. I might or might not write drabbles in the same universe but I'll post them separately if I do. I might (but nothing is less sure) rewrite the story from Bill point of view. By the way, I'm proud to announce that it's my first completed fanfiction over 20,000 words.


End file.
